How long do you leave it before its morally acceptable to sleep with a friends ex? It's practically the law that one female cannot sleep with another females ex boyfriend regardless of any amount of time passed. What about for you guys? Is it any different? Are there bro-codes that you follow?
So what about if you sleep with your male friends ex girlfriend? Where do the boundaries lie there?
Ever since I can remember I have always been attracted to boys. Playing kiss chase around the playground, posters of topless male pop stars. So it may come as a surprise to hear that my first kiss was actually with a girl. I was around 10 at the time and like most girls that age, boys quickly became a neccessary fascination. I, among a few other girls, had no idea what I was doing or how to "french kiss". Myself and a girl friend used to go to each others houses after school and practice with each other. Hoping one day that 10 year old boy we fancied would actually choose us to kiss.
Growing older it was apparent that any encounter I had with another female usually involved a male at some stage. Throughout my teenage years, kissing other girls was only done for the enjoyment of the boys. Dancing up against other girls was also just for the boys satisfaction. It was promiscuous and appealing to most males, having a potential fantasy of theirs played out in front of them. Three-way kissing was massive part of the 00's, two girls and one guy and lot of over the clothes fondling.
When I reached my 20's, girl on girl never really occurred to me. I was more content with maintaining a relationship and experimenting in a heterosexual way. Threesomes were just figures of my boyfriends imagination, knowing in myself I wouldn't feel comfortable performing sexual acts on another woman. A lot of my previous boyfriends had suggested involving someone else, but I repressed a very nasty jealous streak from my early 20's and I was not about to be that person again. I had always admired the girls with the care free attitude, that could watch their partners have sex with other women or even do so themselves. I had always wished I could have adopted that attitude, but jealousy and trust were always my biggest hurdles. That didn't stop me from dreaming about it though. My dreams were never about women I knew, they were just faces and no names and never very often. But they were always steamy and passionate and without a man in sight. I had no doubt I was straight, I craved the touch of a man and I had no desire to be with a woman. I didn't have any sexual feelings towards her when we first met.
She was the girlfriend one of my closest male friends and at first I was very hesitant to get on with her. She was very bold and outspoken, a strong character, like myself. She may have even posed a threat to the female lead of our friendship group, a title I would have fought to give up. After a few weeks of getting to know her, I saw how happy she made him and we ended up being quite good friends. It was rare for me to enjoy the company of other women, they either love me or hate me and it is usually the latter. Our friendship became a lot more intense, I was always excited to see her and we often did things just the two of us. She had become my closest female friend that I had had in a long time. But sadly, like all good things, the relationship between my friend and her came to end.
I decided to remain friends with her, meeting up every now and then for a girls night in or out. A few weeks after the break up we spent a saturday in the sun, at our local village festival. The alcohol was flowing and the music was booming, everyone was in such high spirits. We were making our way back from one of the drinks stalls when a young woman, no older than 23 walked past us. She was tanned, dark hair, wearing ripped shorts and a black vest top, very stylish but casual enough for the occasion. She caught my friends eye and as they passed and walked on, she decided to run back to talk to her. I stood there for a few minutes, checking my texts, passing the time until she returned. She told me how she had just asked that girl out. I was shocked! I had never put her down as bisexual, not that bisexual women possess certain qualities, but it had never crossed my mind. I guessed the break up made her want to experiment more, making up for what she previously sought after in the bedroom.
Nothing changed between us after I found out she also enjoyed the company of women, although nothing came out of the girl from the festival. We were preparing ourselves for another girls night out. The make-up was on, one bottle of wine down and we ready for a night on the town. The confidence shone when we were out, we were the unstoppable duo, both newly single and both ready to conquer the world. I needed to convince myself that I still had it, but a bottle of wine, 8 drinks and about 5 shots later, I really didn't have it. We both stumbled up the stairs to my flat, kebab in hand, giggling and singing away. We were your typical drunk girls from an american movie, sitting on the bed with our food, telling each other how we deserved better, how we were both gorgeous women, how we didn't need a man to know our self worth - clearly we hadn't pulled that night and she had the pick of both sexes. The room was spinning, without hesitation I stripped down to my underwear and jumped into bed. I never have any problems with nudity around other women, it teaches us to be confident and love our bodies, no matter what we have or haven't got. She did the same. She jumped into the bed next to me and gave me a kiss on the forehead as I drifted off to sleep. I startled in my sleep and opened my eyes, it was still dark outside, I couldn't have been to sleep more than half an hour. I closed my eyes again, when a pair of lips touched mine. I opened my eyes and looked at her, no words were spoken, but I was confused. What was she doing? What should I do? And without thinking I kissed her back and kept doing so. I was actually doing it, I was making out with another woman, oh if my ex boyfriends could have seen me now. Her lips were warm, and soft and completely different to the touch of a man. She ran her hands over my body and continued to do so until moments later we were having sex. I tried to open my mind, relax and enjoy what was going on, but I couldn't, something didn't feel right and something was missing. Was it the guilt that this was my friends ex girlfriend? Was it the fact it was my first sexual experience with a woman? Was it that the alcohol was still churning in my stomach and I felt a little nauseous? Either way I knew I had to make this stop, so I faked it. When she had finally accepted her "triumph" she lay next to me and went back to sleep. I lay there for hours after thinking ...... was that it?
I really wanted to be the future girlfriend that could spice up my sex life with threesomes and act out fantasies for my boyfriend. But I don't think I could. I have gained knowledge and experience with age, and when I look back on this situation now, I reflect on the fact it was the combination of the wrong person wrong time. I had no attraction to her, she had emotional ties and history with my close friend and there was no male involved. That was what was missing, a man, to confirm my sexuality to act as my safety blanket, it's what I was familiar with and what I knew. Although I didn't have the experience I may have wanted, I will never regret what happened, I took myself out of my comfort zone and tried something new and who knows, this may not be the last sexual encounter I have with a woman, I am open to revisiting, anything could happen in the future.
All the best
The Naked Blogger
Unfortunately, the woman in the story and I are no longer friends, we have no contact and she has gone on to commit herself into a heterosexual relationship, to which I wish her all the best. It was not through our experience that we no longer speak but through something that happened a few weeks later, she tried to sleep with an ex of mine! Girl code ladies!!! Girl Code!!!